Glimmers of Love
by darkraven2
Summary: A/L, H/L slash Aragorn finds Legolas again after being parted for ten years, they reminisce upon their past loves and pain. A love triange between Aragorn, Legolas, and Haldir. *Completed*
1. part one

Got a new idea after I saw "Hero." So here it is. 

Most of the events are movie based. 

**[ PROLOGUE]**

Ten years passed since the fall of the dark lord. 

The night had darkened upon the empty parts of a broken city. Helm's Deep was now deserted and naught but graves. But in the mists, two figures stood. 

Aragorn Speaks-  
  


_               Never did I hope or dare to think that I would see him here. My eyes focused upon him, as his long silky blond hair fell upon his face just the way I had remembered. His eyes shone crystal blue in the fading light and his skin pale and bright. Long it has been, everyday a year in my mind. I waited but he did not return. I opened my arms to him, hoping that nothing has changed but he only stood there, a shadow of a ghost he seemed. His eyes were worn in pain and sadness, but I knew that he still cared. _

_               "No… my lord." He spoke in a soft voice; "I swore I would not…." _

_He cast one last look upon the grave of Haldir and turned away from me. _

_               "This is not your fault…"_

_               "All he wanted to do was love me… and I turned away… why couldn't I have just given myself to him? He cared for me so much. Now it is too late…"_

_               "Did you love him?"_

_               "… No…" He replied after a period of sad silence, "I never loved him the way I should have." He turned towards me with tearful eyes, "It was you I loved. Even though I knew I could never have you. I'm sorry." With that he ran from me, and did not stop till he was out of sight. _

                                                            **[ONE]**

10 years later…__

               "It has been too long…" Aragorn whispered softly. They sat alone upon the forgotten rocks beside the sea, as they once did many years ago. The waves crashed up on shore splattering upon the pebbles. He turned to the one he loved, and lost for what he thought was forever. Legolas seemed to have recovered from his pain… although the sadness did not leave his eyes. They had met again upon the shore but he did not run nor did he seem overwhelm with pain. He was just an empty shell of forgotten grief. 

               "Yes, I can hardly remember the last time we were here." Legolas replied with a weak smile. His hands were folded upon his lap and he looked out towards the horizon. "But you were still just Aragorn then… not Lord of Gondor." He laughed softly, his voice like music. 

               "… I have not changed." He said gently, noticing how much sadness and pain beheld in his lover's eyes. 

               "… I know." Legolas assured him. "It is I who has changed." He added.  

               "Why have you not come to see me?" Aragorn looked upon the elf. 

               "I'm sorry." Legolas said gently, "How could I after what I said, after the way I ran from you five years ago." This was only partly true… he had thought long about it but he did not have the heart to do it. It was too painful for him. He turned his eyes to face the stern yet handsome man. 

               "…You should have come" Aragorn replied, "… I have missed you so."

               Legolas felt his heart skip a beat. "… And I you." He could seldom remember the last time he felt that sudden rush of happiness. As they sat there, silent, Legolas felt Aragorn's hand lace into his own. He laid his head upon Aragorn's shoulder and there they stayed till dusk turned completely into night.

               The stars have opened up in the skies above and the moon was now visible through the mist. "Do you remember…when we first held each other like this?" Aragorn said in barely a whisper…

**_[-FLASHBACK-]_**

"Estel…"Legolas called, "Come, my father is expecting you." His eyes faltered as they fell upon the creature that was sitting by a tree biting himself. "What is that?" He asked pointedly as the creature hissed and its eyes fell upon him. 

               "That… is Gollum." Aragorn replied gently but his eyes were fixed on Legolas. It seemed that his friend has grown even more beautiful than he had remembered.   
  


               "What is a Gollum?" Legolas said quietly as the creature began to pick himself off the ground. He backed away with doubt in his eyes. 

               "It is…" Aragorn began but he did not go on, "I will explain later… Let us get him inside." As they walked, He could not help noticing the way the light would hit the blond elf's hair and how it would gently brush against his face as he walked. 

               "Is something the matter?" Legolas noticed his friend watching him intently. But as he spoke he could not help noticing that the one he used to hunt with once upon a time had changed as well. The ranger stood proud and stern like a prince of forgotten days and his face was keen and confident full of life. 

               "No." Aragorn replied. They walked on. 

**[Interrupt Flashback]**

"I was surprised… you were even more beautiful than I had remembered." Aragorn said softly.

               "… And you were so strong and handsome…" Legolas replied. He laid his face upon the man's breast as he felt himself being bore to Aragorn's arms. The loneliness and pain he had to live with for the past fifteen years were disappearing and he could feel his heart burning upon his chest. 

**[Back to Flashback]**

"Will you stay a while?" Legolas said hopefully as they strolled out to the gardens leaving Gollum in the hands of guards. 

               "Perhaps a day or two." Aragorn replied.              

               "You are so busy now… going abroad…" Legolas whispered,  "To think of all the things we have done in those careless days."

               "I do not regret even one of them." Aragorn laughed softly, "… How is Haldir?"

               "Haldir?" Legolas repeated. 

               "Are you not with him?"

               "… No, not anymore." Legolas replied gently. He did not love Haldir the way he tried to love him. It was only a really deep friendship, and that could not change. He shivered slightly, as he thought about how much pain he put his friend through when he broke off their love. "I'm sorry." Aragorn said softly. 

               "Are you cold?" Aragorn whispered as he slipped his cloak around Legolas. 

               "Thank you." Legolas said gently. He realized that Aragorn did not let go of him right away and only did so when he looked up. He focused his eyes upon the handsome man as he felt his heart nearly jumping up his throat. In his nervousness, he had not realized they reached the wood. And thus, he stumbled upon a root. 

               But it was not the ground he hit for Aragorn had caught him in his arms. And there they stayed. Legolas slowly slipped his arms around Aragorn's shoulders and they kissed softly… and passionately. 

**[End Flashback]**


	2. part two

Aragorn Speaks-

               "You left…" My lover whispered softly as his tender pale skin brushed against my arms. I sensed his pain, I always could. I hurt him so much, and there was not one thing that I would not give to take it back.  "The very next day…" He said with a bitter laugh, "I thought… that maybe..." His sapphire eyes were turned away from me 

               "… I was called…" I whispered hastily, trying to make him understand, "I couldn't stay." He seemed to be holding back his tears again as his rosy lips trembled before speaking. 

               "I know…" The elven beauty said through his hurt, "But I was too selfish to understand… I'm sorry." He smiled for me through his grief, he always could. Why? Why did he have to suffer so, especially for me? Anger, love, lust… a thousand emotions rushed through me at once. 

               "No…" I said as my arms slipped to his slender waist and I pulled him tighter towards me, "You are not selfish…you have not one selfish bone in your body…" He blinked back the glittering tears that slid down his face and trailing upon my chest. 

               "Come now…" Legolas said quickly as he wiped his pain stricken eyes, "You need not defend me anymore… not even to myself." His voice was filled with self-loathing and hurt but he held his posture nonetheless. 

               "Why are you so harsh on yourself…" I said gently as I lifted him close to me, "You are so beautiful…"

               "Am I?" He said with quiet despair, "Then why do I not see it?" To this, I had no answer. I only bent down and kissed him with all the love I have been fighting these years. He responded fully, slipping his arms around my neck and embracing me. Desire, pain, love…all that I could feel from him he showed me. He needed me, just as much as I needed him. 

               "No…" Legolas moaned softly as he pulled away, "We can't… I can't." He turned to me and I knew exactly what he was thinking of. 

**[Flashback]**

               "…You have my blessings…" Legolas whispered to the handsome man. 

               "…Legolas," Aragorn whispered, reaching out to the elf who only stepped back. 

               "Nay… it was a mistake…" Legolas said firmly, "You deserve better… you have better."

               "No, I… you have to understand…"

               "There is nothing to understand," The blond elf said through his mask of calmness, "Valar only knows… Princess Arwen… is the best anyone can do…"He was breaking down inside but he was determined not to let that show.

               "That is not it!"

               "…It is all right… I understand…and I wish you the best of days…" Legolas whispered sincerely, he did wish this man the best life could bring. But it was like shoving a blade of hot iron into his chest. 

               "Legolas!"

**[End flashback]**

 "… It was always you that I loved." I said softly stroking my lover's cheek, "I never loved anyone in the same way…" He shook his head sadly and smiled forcefully at me. 

               "You deserve better. I have said this to you nearly seventeen years ago, and I say this now." He said as he let go of my hand. I was utterly heartbroken to see how frail he seemed just then. When his golden hair trailed down his shoulders, lit by the pale light of the moon and stars, and his eyes still whelmed with tears. 

               "No… no one can do better…." I assured him, willing to do anything to show how much I cared. He laughed that cold icy laugh once more and turned away from me. 

               "…I have hurt everyone I have ever known… that is the measure of my kindness."

**[Flashback]**

The fellowship has arrived upon Lothlorien, and there they have stayed for countless days. In a clearing sat Haldir and Legolas… reminiscing about their own love. 

"Haldir…"

               "… What is it that you truly want… Legolas?" The Lorien elf whispered as he shifted his lover in his arms. 

               "You."

               "I need you to be honest with me…" Haldir whispered, kissing the slender elf softly on the brow. 

               "… I… I don't know."

               "… Legolas… I know how much you love Aragorn…"

               "I do not… I can't…" Legolas whispered, "It does not matter… it is you I am with now."

               "No… it does matter." Haldir assured him with pain in his own heart, "If you love him… then you will never be happy with me… and the last thing I want is for you to grieve."

               "… But I love you."

               "Do you?" 

               "I…I do."

**[End Flashback]**

Legolas Speaks-

               Why? Why did he have to suffer because of me? I have done nothing to deserve his love and yet he gave himself to me fully and sincerely. What a beast I am to push him away! I should have loved him, he was perfect… yet why could I not do so? 

               Because it was Aragorn I always loved. Now that I look up to the strong and wonderful man… I did not deserve him either.  How I wished for death once, twice, every day since then…

               "Legolas…" He whispered, how I loved the way he uttered my name, "Please… please don't cry." I had not noticed that tears were slipping down my face again. But hearing him speak this way to me only made the tears whelm my eyes. I had never cried before that night in Mirkwood when our souls joined. Since then… it seemed all I have been doing. 

               I kissed him hungrily, and he held me once more lowering me toward the ground. My arms trailed over his shoulders and now I could not deny that I wanted him. I had always wanted him. But in his response I knew that he felt the same for me. 

**[Flashback]**

Upon leaving Lothlorien

"Why did you not tell me you were still with Haldir?" Aragorn said, his voice full of hurt as he grasped Legolas's wrist. 

               "What is there to know?"

               "What is there to know?? I thought you… I thought that…"

               "You are not my father, Aragorn. I need not tell you things that do not concern you."

               "…So that is it then?"

               "What is it?"

               "Revenge? For how I hurt you?"

               "… How dare you…" Legolas's eyes flashed, "Revenge? Do you think that I am so low a soul to sink to that? I love him, Aragorn… It has nothing to do with you." The blond elf snapped away in anger and stormed out of sight. 

**[End Flashback]**

"I lied to you…" I whispered, "It had everything to do with you… I loved you so much… I still do… I was trying to move on…" I said as his kisses trailed down my neck. 

               "… Shhh… let the past be… for we are together now…" 

               "Yes…" I moaned softly, he was here… with me… and it was all going to be fine… for now. 

*******************************************************************************************  
  


               The moon beamed down upon the lit beach as night grew deeper and the sounds of birds grew faint. The two lovers lay atone with each other and each flushed with love. 

               Aragorn looked to the gorgeous elf beside him and smiled. He could not remember himself being half as happy, anywhere. 

               "I'm sorry…" Legolas whispered suddenly. 

               "What?" Aragorn frowned as his arms loosened around his lover. 

               "I'm sorry… that I am not Arwen… and I cannot replace her."

               "…No… I love you… and only you…"

               "You would not remember me… had she not left."

               "… That is not true…"

Aragorn Speaks-

               He shook his head sadly and kissed me softly once more before pulling his clothes on properly. I looked towards him… how could he think that?

**[Flashback]**

Helms deep:

               "Haldir!" I cried as I caught the Lorien elf before he collapsed. I knew that he would not make it.

               "…Aragorn…" He said softly, "Take care… take care of Legolas…"

               "I will…"

               "He loves you."

               "Nay… it is you whom he loves…" 

               "No… he loves me as a friend… not the way he loves you. He has never given himself to anyone… save you."

               "… What?" I uttered softly… that night… our night together in Mirkwood… it couldn't be…

               "Protect him…"

**[End Flashback]**


	3. part three ending

-Flashback-

               Legolas stared deathly at the pale limp elf that lay broken before him… everything was going hazy just then… the one person that could have saved him from his own feelings was gone. He was alone. "Haldir…" He breathed softly as he stroked the silver lit blond hair. "No…no… NO! You can't die! NO!…no" He pleaded but the figure did not budge. 

            "Legolas…" 

               "… Why? Why him? Why not me?" Legolas said softly as he continued to stroke the fallen elf's cheek.

               "I'm really sorry…."

               "It's not your fault… so don't be." Legolas snapped back, his eyes still upon Haldir. He wanted to die… he wish he had died. 

               "… It isn't yours either…"

               "You don't know…" Legolas breathed, "You don't know what I put him through…" With that he drew out a dagger and flung it at his breast. 

               "NO!" Aragorn cried as he grasped the elf's wrist before any damage was done.

               "Let go of me!" Legolas struggled against the grip before the dagger was wrenched out of his grasp. He looked up with teary eyes only to see Aragorn's bloody hands. "I… I'm sorry…." He said gently as he looked toward his friend, "I'm sorry…" 

               "… It's all right… it's going to be fine…" Aragorn whispered as his arms trailed around the elf's slender waist. 

               "… Is it? Because I don't see how it's ever going to be…" Legolas said through his teeth as he dug his fingers into his wrists so hard that they left red imprints, "I should have been better to him… He loved me so much… he did not deserve this!" With that fresh tears splashed down his sapphire blue eyes. 

               "… Do not blame yourself…" Aragorn whispered as he tilted the elven prince's face towards him. 

               "… You don't understand… you don't understand…" It was all the beautiful elf could utter before he passed out in his grief.  Aragorn carried him slowly to his room and let him rest. 

               Hours passed…

               "Legolas?" Aragorn looked up to see the blond elf stumbling towards him, "You're… you're drunk."

               "… Drunk? Don't be ridiculous… I'm an elf… I do not get drunk…" He said with a soft chuckle. But it was clear that his cheeks were rosy and his vision was hazy. 

               "Legolas sit down…" Aragorn whispered, "Get some rest… you have been through a lot…" 

               "… Really? Then how come I am unscathed?" 

               "I meant emotionally…"

               "… Emotionally? I am fine… Why shouldn't I be fine?" Legolas said stuttering as he reached the bed, "I mean… The person I loved is dead… and you know what? I'm still alive. I am not even hurt! He was always there to save me… but I couldn't even save him once!" 

               "Legolas stop it… you are being much to hard on yourself."

               The elf suddenly grew painfully silent and nearly collapsed. Aragorn said nothing as he lifted the elf into his arms and laid him upon the bed. He started to pull the covers over the slender figure.

               "He would sit with me every night…" Legolas said softly, "After… that night…"

               Aragorn had often wondered what happened the night before Haldir and Legolas met. He stroked the elf's hair as he spoke to feed his curiosity. "What happened… that night…?"

               "This man… he wanted me… ever since he saw me… I did not think that much of it… till one night… that night he came to me… I tried to fight him… but I couldn't and he raped me…" The blond elf's eyes dropped for a moment as he moaned softly putting a hand over his head… the images were coming to him once more. "… It was Haldir who found me…"

               Aragorn stared in disbelief and sorrow… and a bit of rage. This was the last thing he had expected, "Legolas…" He breathed as he lifted the elf into his arms; Legolas stirred but said nothing.

               "Aragorn…" The elf said suddenly as he pulled the human close, "I want you…" 

               "Legolas… you don't know what you're saying… you're just hurt…"

               "Yes I do…" Legolas said in spite of the dizziness, he began to nibble at Aragorn's neck, and Aragorn could not deny that he wanted this. He wanted the elf… the only one he had truly desired and loved. Slowly, they both gave into desire. 

-End Flashback-

               "Haldir…" Legolas whispered as fresh tears leaked down his face once more, 'I betrayed him… I did not even wait one day!' He wanted to die terribly, he wanted to be given some of the pain that he thought he deserved.  He looked towards the sleeping figure beside him. He did not want to face the human in the morning, where they would have to part and he would be left to his own darkness once more. 

               "I love you so much Aragorn…." He whispered as he began to pick up the dagger and prick at his own wrists, "I love you so much…" Blood trickled down endlessly as a painful smile came over the beautiful elf's face. He soon moved up his arm… still crying and smiling at the same time.

-Flashback-

               "… Legolas… I…"

               "I want nothing to do with you…" The elf whispered in his broken condition, "I'm sorry… I'm sorry about everything… and no one has to know about any of it… "

               "…But I…"

               "Please…" Legolas begged softly, "Please … you have Princess Arwen…" 

               "I love you…" Aragorn said as he reached out to cradle the beauty.  

               "It is your wedding in a little bit… go… please… I would die if I knew that I ruined your life as well as Haldir's…" Legolas smiled forcefully.

               Aragorn had nothing to say but he reached out to embrace the elf, who only backed away. 

-End Flashback-

               Aragorn awoke slowly as dawn crept up upon them. He looked up to see Legolas standing, staring towards the horizon. He saw that blood was trickling endlessly down the elf's arm. Legolas did not seem to care as he dropped the bloody dagger on the ground. 

               "Legolas…" Aragorn whispered, in both pain and grief, "Why?"

               "…Here…" Legolas replied as he tossed the human a sword and smiled, "One last duel."

               "No… I will not fight you."

               "Why not?" Legolas whispered gently, "What of all the times we did when we were young?"

               "… Because things have changed…. And I will not allow you anymore chances of hurting yourself."

               "… What do you care about hurting me? You've done a lot more to me with your words and touch than your sword ever could." Legolas snapped as bitterly as he could. He was trying to hurt Aragorn as much as he can… 

               Aragorn could think of nothing more to say about this. 

               "Draw your sword… son of Arathorn…" Legolas whispered as he picked up his own. He knew that Aragorn could defeat him one handed but he did not care, that was what he wanted. 

               "… No…" Aragorn replied simply. 

               "If you cared about me half as much as you said you did… you would draw your sword…"

               "… I said I would not…"

               "Do it…" Legolas said as his voice broke and his trembling blade pressed against Aragorn's neck.

               "Go ahead… dig into my flesh and let the blood come down if it makes you feel better."

               Legolas lowered his sword and stared wrathfully. "Fine…" He, instead, slammed the blade into his own palm and watched his own blood come down. "Better? Aragorn?" He said as he looked towards the one he loved. 

               "Legolas… Stop!" Aragorn cried as he moved towards the beautiful elf. Legolas's long flowing blond hair was stained at the tips by a soft crimson blood and his eyes were blazed with tears.

               "Will you draw your sword?"

               Aragorn did as he was bid and waited. The two fought for a while, Legolas charging with all his strength while Aragorn only defended himself yet did nothing in his part. He knew what he would do… if it came to that…

               Legolas did not really know what he was waiting for… he wanted Aragorn to hate him, he wanted to die yet he knew that his beloved would not kill him. His last blow came hard towards the human's chest yet to his utter distress, Aragorn moved his sword away and did not defend his blow. 

Legolas moved his sword away at the last second, had his skill been only a little weaker, Aragorn would have been critically wounded… if not dead. "Why…. Why did you not defend yourself? I would have killed you…" The gorgeous elf whispered as he fell onto his knees. 

"I do not fear death… Legolas, I only fear losing you again… and if death be the only way you will stay with me… then that is what I want…"

Legolas stared for a moment as if he understood. With trembling and bloody hands, he kissed the king of a man passionately upon the lips and backed away. He then took the dagger and struck himself… 

               "NO!" Aragorn cried as he tried to wrestle the blade away but he was too late. The graceful beauty had fallen in his arms and was staring tearfully at him. 

               "I love you so much… Estel…" Legolas said with sorrow as his bloody yet slender hand came up to touch his beloved's face, "I loved you but I was never worthy of you…"

               "… No… no you can't die… don't leave me!"

               "… I'm sorry…" Legolas said amid the last of his breath, "I'm sorry… I did not want to leave you…" With that the elf passed slowly away. Aragorn only knelt there with his lover's body in his arms…

               "I love you Legolas… I always have… I should have been with you… I should have been with you…." He uttered with tears streaming from his eyes. "I'm sorry…"

               The strong and firmed face King held the elf gently and buried him close to the grave of another lost friend. He kissed the brow one last time before he walked slowly away…

THE END

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